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The Patron Saint of Superheroes

Chris Gavaler Explores the Multiverse of Comics, Pop Culture, and Politics

It’s DAY THREE of the The Zombie Monologues, and time to meet a young urban professional who escaped his meaningless existence.

The Zombie Monologues, a shortened online version of my pandemic-postponed play The Zombie Life, is premiering for the rest of this week at Richmond’s Firehouse Theater’s website, one monologue every other day at 4:00.

The link to all of the monologues is here.

And below is the text and other information about the production.

It’s not like I miss my old life. Nine to five. Tapping keys. I was a robot. Or a, you know. They had me brainwashed. Clawing up the corporate ladder. Chomping at the next promotion. Fighting off all the other ambition-crazed back-stabbers. That’s not living. That’s surviving. Till you can run home at the end of the day, lock yourself behind your protective walls. Then what? The night life? It’s a meat market out there. Hordes descending on bars, stumbling across dance floors, for what? A warm body? “Soul-mates”? We’re talking about packs of mindless animals. All programmed to conform to the illusory ideal of the non-conformist. Express your individuality by purchasing our mass consumer product. The upgrades, phone, car, condo, lover. Well, forget it. I’m not that kind of consumer anymore. I’m off the grid. Unplugged. The individual never existed. We’re a hive species. Accept it. Let go of the grind. The rat race, the human race. This is where we’re meant to be. Right here, right now, nothing else. Totally Zen. I’m like a goddamn guru. Forget meditation, my head’s blank 24/7. This is better than enlightenment. No possessions. No striving. I’m free of everything, ambitions, anxieties, guilt, hope, shame, you name it. You just have to stop running. Turn around and look your fear in the eyes. The sooner you face death, the sooner you’re free.


the ZOMBIE monologues

by Chris Gavaler

directed by Joan Gavaler

August 19-30, 2020

the ZOMBIE monologues is a fully virtual prequel to our world premiere of Chris Gavaler’s THE ZOMBIE LIFE that we’ve had to postpone due to COVID-19.
Videos will premiere at 4pm on 8/19, 8/21, 8/23, 8/25, 8/27, and 8/29 at these 3 links

Wed 8/19, Thu 8/20
Ken Moretti – Therapist + Keaton Hillman – Doctor
Fri 8/21, Sat 8/22
Marjie Southerland – Chef
Sun 8/23, Mon 8/24
Robbie Winston – Professional
Tue 8/25, Wed 8/26
Boomie Pedersen – Activist
Thu 8/27, Fri 8/28
Caity Brown – Volunteer
Sat 8/29, Sun 8/30
Ken Moretti, Keaton Hillman, Marjie Southerland,
Robbie Winston, Boomie Pedersen, Caity Brown – klansman

the ZOMBIE monologues has been developed by Firehouse Theatre with support from Aura CuriAtlas Physical Theatre through a series of Zoom workshops.

Videos will premiere at 4pm on 8/19, 8/21, 8/23, 8/25, 8/27, and 8/29 at these 3 links

​donations gladly accepted at or text “zombie” to 44321.

The Zombie Life: A Seminar for Humans Seeking Conversion
We know life is hard. When you are ready to stop searching for meaning and leave the pain behind, we are ready to help.
1. Zombies have no responsibilities.
2. Zombies feel no guilt, shame, or emotional pain of any kind.
3. Zombies don’t plan for the future.
4. Zombies are never judgmental, petty, jealous, or hypocritical.
5. Zombies are free of racism, sexism, and all other forms of prejudice and bigotry.
6. Zombies form no governments, run no businesses, consume no natural resources, and cause no harm to their environments.
7. Zombies are never uncertain. They never second guess. They have no regrets.


Caity Brown

Keaton Hillman

Ken Moretti

Boomie Pedersen

Marjie Southerland

Robbie Winston

Production Team:

Joan Gavaler – Director

Dan Plehal – Movement Director

Todd Labelle – Production Designer

Tad Burrell – Set Designer

Annette Hairfield – Costume Designer

AC Wilson – Props Designer

Grace Brown – Stage Manager


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