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The Patron Saint of Superheroes

Chris Gavaler Explores the Multiverse of Comics, Pop Culture, and Politics

Today is DAY FOUR of six for the online premiere of The Zombie Monologues. The “Zombie Activist” was a section I added to the full play The Zombie Life last year, and so long before this summer of BLM protests. It’s more than a little strange seeing it performed now in our current context. When it was time to cull the play down to a few monologues, I wasn’t certain I wanted to include this one, but the cast voted for it. So here it is.

The link to all of the monologues is here.

The final two sections, “Zombie Volunteer” and “Zombie Klansman” will premiere on Thursday and Saturday at 4:00.

There are only two kinds of people. I used to think it was men and women. The oppressive patriarchy and all that. It’s not race either, blacks and whites. I mean it is all about that, who is born with what, how much money, what color penis. Trust funds and tax shelters and it’s not my fault what your parents did or didn’t hand down to you, a work ethic, an entrepreneurial spirit. Almost anyone can make it if they really try probably, claw your way out of the melting pot, step on the heads of your opportunity-blind brothers and sisters. Food and not food. That’s all we are. Eaters and the eaten. I always felt bad about that. Social justice. I went to protests, chanted at rallies, marched and waved banners for my fellow whatevers. We are all one. Though I don’t actually live around here. My train ticket was first class. And we went to a nice restaurant afterwards, ethnic, because, you know, as long as I’m here, why shouldn’t I treat myself? Didn’t I earn it? Sure, maybe I started out with a leg up, but nothing is guaranteed. I work hard. I’m a good person. I’m not saying money is a virtue, but I’m not saying it’s not either. I’m better than lots of people, rich people. Actual rich people. The selfish ones. The greedy. I’m not greedy. I just have good taste. Everybody has to eat. Why shouldn’t it be something good? Why shouldn’t it be you?



the ZOMBIE monologues

by Chris Gavaler

directed by Joan Gavaler

August 19-30, 2020

the ZOMBIE monologues is a fully virtual prequel to our world premiere of Chris Gavaler’s THE ZOMBIE LIFE that we’ve had to postpone due to COVID-19.
Videos will premiere at 4pm on 8/19, 8/21, 8/23, 8/25, 8/27, and 8/29 at these 3 links

Wed 8/19, Thu 8/20
Ken Moretti – Therapist + Keaton Hillman – Doctor
Fri 8/21, Sat 8/22
Marjie Southerland – Chef
Sun 8/23, Mon 8/24
Robbie Winston – Professional
Tue 8/25, Wed 8/26
Boomie Pedersen – Activist
Thu 8/27, Fri 8/28
Caity Brown – Volunteer
Sat 8/29, Sun 8/30
Ken Moretti, Keaton Hillman, Marjie Southerland,
Robbie Winston, Boomie Pedersen, Caity Brown – klansman

the ZOMBIE monologues has been developed by Firehouse Theatre with support from Aura CuriAtlas Physical Theatre through a series of Zoom workshops.

Videos will premiere at 4pm on 8/19, 8/21, 8/23, 8/25, 8/27, and 8/29 at these 3 links

​donations gladly accepted at or text “zombie” to 44321.

The Zombie Life: A Seminar for Humans Seeking Conversion
We know life is hard. When you are ready to stop searching for meaning and leave the pain behind, we are ready to help.
1. Zombies have no responsibilities.
2. Zombies feel no guilt, shame, or emotional pain of any kind.
3. Zombies don’t plan for the future.
4. Zombies are never judgmental, petty, jealous, or hypocritical.
5. Zombies are free of racism, sexism, and all other forms of prejudice and bigotry.
6. Zombies form no governments, run no businesses, consume no natural resources, and cause no harm to their environments.
7. Zombies are never uncertain. They never second guess. They have no regrets.


Caity Brown

Keaton Hillman

Ken Moretti

Boomie Pedersen

Marjie Southerland

Robbie Winston

Production Team:

Joan Gavaler – Director

Dan Plehal – Movement Director

Todd Labelle – Production Designer

Tad Burrell – Set Designer

Annette Hairfield – Costume Designer

AC Wilson – Props Designer

Grace Brown – Stage Manager


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